The cocoa and berry mix offers a healthy hit of disease fighting antioxidants – all without a gram of added sugar in sight!
INGREDIENTS
250g cream cheese, softened
1/3 cup powdered low carb sweetener
(xylitol/erythritol)
4 sachets sweetener (stevia/sucralose)
1 ½ tsp vanilla extract
1 Tbsp. cocoa powder extract
1 cup heavy cream
Fresh raspberries, strawberries or blueberries
to garnish
METHOD
Beat cream cheese until smooth. Mix in erythritol, sweetener, cocoa and vanilla extract until well combined. In separate bowl, beat heavy cream with mixer until stiff peaks form. Fold half of the whipped cream into cream cheese mixture until well incorporated. Fold in the other half of the whipped cream. Beat with an electric mixer on high until light and fluffy. Refrigerate for at least two hours. Pipe or spoon into individual serving dishes. Top with fresh berries or fruit of choice.
Fostering good habits can be the key to achieving your goals. Here are 5 simple habits that will improve your health and investment outcomes:
1. Seek Ongoing Professional Advice
Consulting a dietician or personal trainer upfront to construct a diet and exercise regime that is appropriate for your goals, although coming at a cost, will save you much frustration and drastically increase your chance of success. Their role is to set achievable goals and appropriate programs to follow to which they will hold you accountable. The interaction should be regular as they can check up on your progress and tweak your program over time (which is especially important should you reach a plateau). Having someone to report back to means that you will be more likely to be engaged and committed.
The same is true for investments. Consulting a Certified Financial Planner® professional will enable you to set up a suitable investment strategy that is affordable and most importantly, one that you can stick with. Active, regular engagement is crucial to prompt you to keep putting funds away when possible (and opportune!) and to help you stay the course. At the same time, a Certified Financial Planner® professional will review the long-term performance and makeup of your portfolio and make suitable recommendations on a forward-looking basis.
As investment returns do not come in a straight line, but rather in a lumpy fashion, staying invested in your strategy is the most important determinant of success. To do so requires emotional control and not making impulsive decisions when investments are down or volatile. A Certified Financial Planner® professional can act as a rational sounding board, to talk through your concerns and to give you additional insight enabling you to avoid costly missteps.
2. Diversification – the only free lunch!
Although there are myriad diets and nutrition options available, a well-balanced diet is essential for good long-term health. This can be in the form of balancing your macronutrients (protein, carbohydrates and fats) or including a balanced variety of fruits and vegetables in your diet.
In a similar way, when it comes to investments, diversification is crucial in building a robust portfolio that can withstand the ups and downs of different business, economic and market cycles. Appropriate diversification allows you to achieve your desired goals whilst lowering the risk of permanent capital loss and reducing the ups and downs of your portfolio.
Investment diversification involves balancing your asset class exposure (local and offshore) between shares (equities), cash, bonds and property. The ideal balance depends on your investment objective, your investment time horizon, your ability to tolerate fluctuations, and your financial capacity to take on risk. You may further diversify between active fund managers, who choose the shares that you are invested in, or passive low-cost index tracking investments. When employing the services of an active fund manager it is beneficial from a risk/return perspective to blend fund managers with different investment styles such as growth and value.
3. Consistency
Being continually conscious and discerning about what you put into your body whilst being consistent with your exercise routine is the only way to achieve your long-term health goals. The same is true for investments. By setting up a regular contribution with an automatic annual increase together with a reminder to top up your retirement annuity or tax-free savings plan before the end of the tax year, you will be amazed how much sooner you will see results.
4. Think Long-Term
In today’s technological age of streaming and 24-hour delivery services we all want instantaneous results. Unfortunately, when it comes to your health and investments it takes time to see these results.
Once the appropriate investment portfolio has been implemented then the next step, which is probably the most difficult, is to stick with the strategy and give it time. This requires patience and immense self-control. Like a new diet or exercise plan, the biggest risk to not achieving your goal is that you abandon your plan along the way because you are not seeing the results soon enough. This may happen because you are investing sporadically, evaluating returns over too short a period (most fund managers invest with a 5 to 10 year time horizon) or falling prey to making emotional decisions.
Of course, a very real problem may be that you cannot stomach the ups and downs of your portfolio. This may require a meeting with your Certified Financial Planner® professional to ensure that your portfolio is in line with your risk tolerance level and a tweak or two may be needed. Another strategy is to only look at your investments once a year, after all, the less frequently you look at an investment the less volatile it will become!
5. Always Look Forward!
We all have binge days when we overeat or periods when we do not exercise. Fixating on those times can create feelings of guilt making it difficult to move forward. Remember, we cannot change the past and the only thing that we have control over is what we do today and going forward. With investments it can be very tempting to base decisions on historic short term investment performance making it enticing to change your portfolio to follow last year’s best performer or to abandon ship when things are down. This behaviour can be very costly over time as last year’s outperformer can sometimes be next year’s underperformer. By not giving investments time to deliver you can miss out when things pick up. Rather make investment decisions looking forward asking the following 3 questions:
Is my portfolio still appropriate for my objectives and risk appetite?
Is my portfolio well diversified locally and offshore, between asset classes and quality fund managers with complementary investment styles?
Do I need to put more away to make achieving my goals more likely?
The principles of investing are straightforward but implementing them is not. Like any diet or exercise training program, investing requires sacrifice now to benefit your future self. At the same time, avoiding costly missteps requires mastery of your behaviour and an understanding of the common pitfalls that can catch you out. Following the 5 habits above will help you navigate your health and investment journey, significantly improving the chances of a successful outcome.
Nicholas is an Actuary and Certified Financial Planner® professional specialising in retirement planning and investments whilst helping people protect their and their family’s financial well-being. Please follow Nicholas at https://nicholasbezuidenhout.com/ and https://twitter.com/nick_bez
The first step to financial wellness is to create disposable income to invest for the future and to stay out of unhealthy debt. To create disposable income, you need to earn more and/or spend less. This is similar to any weight loss plan where getting in shape, no matter what nutrition or exercise regime you choose to follow, ultimately involves the hard work of moving more and eating less.
You may earn more by creating an additional source of income or taking steps to earn a higher salary but this is not always that easy so we will focus here on ways to spend less. So, what are two common behaviour traps that lead us to getting into debt or spending more than we should and how can we sidestep these?
1. Pain avoidance
When it comes to going to the gym or exercising, we will often find any excuse not to do it because initially it is very sweaty and uncomfortable! This is like paying for something with cash or our debit card where we see the money go out of our wallets or bank balance, causing immediate physical discomfort. The discomfort happens because we realise that the money we just spent was actually ours and we start wondering whether spending R18 000 on the new iPhone 12 was actually worth the number of working hours, days or months it took to earn the money! It also results in us going through the uncomfortable thought process of considering what else we could have spent the money on and what we have sacrificed for this purchase, known as the “opportunity cost” – will there still be enough in our bank account to cover the rest of our debit orders, our kids’ school fees, our groceries?
Because of this emotional rollercoaster it is so much easier to whip out the credit card or the payment app on our phone, like a cowboy at the O.K. Corral, to buy what we want whenever we want. The reason this is so easy is because firstly and at least initially our bank balance stays the same and it is not our money that we are spending. Credit cards have enabled us to have immediate gratification with the pain of paying coming much later.
This is not a problem if you are able to pay off your credit card every month but all too often our credit card balances keep growing until the interest alone costs us thousands every month. Credit cards do have their purposes for emergencies such as paying for emergency medicines or the tow truck when we breakdown in the middle of nowhere, but they should really be limited to that – emergency expenses only!
If you want to get your spending in control then do what you can to avoid spending on credit, put your credit card (wrapped in plastic) in a block of ice in the freezer, lock it away in the safe or give it to your trustworthy and ferocious mother-in-law for safe keeping and get into the habit of only spending with the money you have saved up in your wallet or in your bank account via your debit card (please cancel or avoid the overdraft facility!). The truth is that, like exercise, once you get into the habit and have passed the initial period of discomfort it is extremely fulfilling as you start to see results, your bank balance growing instead of shrinking, and as you come to realise that you are indeed in control of your own behaviour. You will also become an expert in weighing up whether it is worthwhile to spend money on something as you realise that every decision to buy something is a decision to sacrifice something else.
2. Relativity – Sales, special offers and get-one-free deals
Whilst sales and special offers sound enticing, we usually fall into the marketing trap of buying things we don’t actually want or buying far more than we need. We end up spending way more money than we intended just to save a percentage on the additional item.
For example, you go to the grocery store in search of guacamole for your once-a-month home nacho and movie night and when you arrive at the aisle 5 shelf, proudly displaying the guacamole, you see that there is a special: buy two get one free! This is too compelling to resist, as in effect you are getting one third off, and you end up spending twice the amount of money that you intended to because let’s face it, you actually only needed one tub for nacho night! Aside from reducing your bank balance you also end up either overeating or with some mouldy guacamole after a few days!
Having said this, specials and buy bulk and save items have their place if they are offered on essential items such as toilet paper and toothpaste and you are getting a discount on the usual price by buying more. To decide whether to go for these specials we need to become experts in what is known as the “time value of money”. For example, if buy buying 10 family packs of toilet paper gives you a 5% saving, knowing you will only use it over a year, is it worth it when you could have taken the money for the other 9 packs and paid off some of your long overdue credit card debt saving interest of 16% over a year? As a rule of thumb, if you are going to use the item in the next year and the discount is less than 10% it may be best to only buy it when you next need it!
Now, imagine if these sales and special offers inadvertently cause you to buy more than you need a few times a week, you can very easily end up spending hundreds or thousands of Rands more that would be better put towards reducing debt or saving for your future goals and dreams!
Nicholas is an Actuary and Certified Financial Planner® professional specialising in retirement planning and investments whilst helping people protect their and their family’s financial well-being. Please follow Nicholas at https://nicholasbezuidenhout.com/ and https://twitter.com/nick_bez
Proper breathing can make the world of difference when running. Whether you are just starting out or you’ve been running for years, chances are, you’ve often struggled with your breathing.
Now, we get that our hamstrings, quads and calves are the driving force that propel us forward, but the power of your breath is more important than you realise. In fact, getting your breathing right will not only make your running more enjoyable but it will make you a stronger, better runner. Meaning you can run harder for longer.
The science behind breathing
Many runners start out not knowing the importance of breathing correctly. The right breathing technique is vital as a runner. It differentiates rookies from experts. But far too few runners are actually aware of how their breathing impacts their running, not to mention how the body works when we breathe.
When we breathe in, our diaphragm will contract and the lungs will expand – basic science. Breathing in allows oxygen into the body, an important gas that our muscles need to generate energy. We thus inhale oxygen and exhale carbon dioxide. When carbon dioxide accumulates in the body, it can lead to breathlessness and anxiety, making any run feel incredibly strenuous and hard.
How to breathe right to run better
The first thing you need to pay attention to so that you can properly examine the efficacy of your breathing technique (apart from gasping for air like a fish out of water), is assessing whether or not you are using your diaphragm effectively. Some signs include:
Pain or tightness in your upper body while running
Flared ribs or an arched back
Paradoxical breathing – your stomach rises when exhaling and compresses when inhaling
All of the above signs indicate an issue with your breathing efficacy. When you bring awareness to your breathing technique, this will enable you to create a calmer mind, steadier pace and help you to endure high-pressure race scenarios. Focusing on a good breathing technique will give you the power you need to fight any fatigue you might experience and maintain a proper form.
Did you know that the common reason why we gasp for air when we run is because we have not regulated our body’s response to running and our heightened state of breathing? Instead of reacting in a ‘fight or flight’ manner, we need to adapt our way of thinking to be ‘rest and remain calm’.
When we react in a stressful manner to running (i.e. heavy breathing, gasping for air, feeling light-headed), this will impact your lungs and heart, which in turn, means you cannot run without reaching your ventilatory threshold, this is the point at which you cannot breathe in oxygen quickly or deeply enough to meet your body’s demand. When nearing this point, our body’s stress response will kick in and result in struggle and panic. It’s a vicious cycle.
Breathing with your belly and not your chest
Deep belly breathing is the correct breathing technique to use when running, also known as diaphragmatic breathing. This will result in a maximum oxygen intake compared to shallow chest breathing. Your maximum oxygen intake is known as your VO2 max – this is the maximum rate of oxygen your body can use when exercising. The higher this value is, the more oxygen your body is able to consume and the more effectively the body can use oxygen to generate energy.
The air we breathe in will remain in our lungs for a short period of time, which will prevent the complete exchange of air, thus reducing the oxygen intake. When our breathing technique is poor, it can not only result in unnecessary fatigue but also the common side stitch so many runners experience. Deep belly breathing allows for increased oxygen intake and prevents side stitches.
Here’s how to do it…
For a few minutes before your run (you can also practise this at random during the day), lie down on a comfortable surface, placing your hand on your belly. Take a few slow, deep breaths, ensuring your belly naturally lifts your hand when inhaling and your hand sinks when exhaling. Once you are comfortable with this technique, you can practise it when moving around and running at a comfortable pace.
Pay attention to your form
Make sure you also pay attention to your posture when running. Your upper body should be straight, shoulders relaxed (not hunched forward) and your head should be in line with your body, not pushed forward.
Applying deep belly breathing to your running: Rhythmic breathing
Experienced runners know about rhythmic breathing. This is breathing in a pattern which allows you to increase your oxygen intake and result in your body being in a more relaxed state. Remember, every time your foot hits the ground, your body experiences stress associated with this impact. It’s your job to control how your body reacts to this stress.
An expert trick is to alternate exhales between your left and right foot. This form of rhythmic breathing will allow for less pressure to be placed on your diaphragm and balance the impact between both sides of the body.
Following a 3:2 pattern allows you to focus on your breathing and lessen the stress your body experiences. This means you will inhale for three strides and exhale for two. If you increase your pace, you can change the pattern to be 2:1 – Allowing your body to take in more oxygen and quickly expel the carbon dioxide.
The final stride
Following these expert tips will improve your running, lessen the stressful impact of running on your body and help make your running more enjoyable.
A word from RunMalibu
This blog was written by WellBe&Co in collaboration with RunMalibu. WellBe&Co is a personal and corporate wellness company specializing in easy-to-implement, lifestyle-focused nutrition, training and health solutions.
Our outlook on finding the right balance and mindset to let stress help you rise to the occasion.
Stress has become such a natural thing in our lives, don’t you think? Just be honest with your inner mean girl for a second here, okay? When we hear a friend or colleague complaining about the stress they’re feeling, it’s usually met with an internal “well, yes, aren’t we all?”. Maybe it’s because everybody is complaining about being stressed, having a little chin wobble over it and then carrying on with business as usual.
This doesn’t make you an awful person (although a little self-reflection never hurt anybody). What it does mean, is that stress has become so normalized that complaining about it doesn’t really evoke any response. This is, as the global decline in overall mental health and the increase in burnout, anxiety and depression show, becoming glaringly dangerous.
Stress from the start
We aren’t scientists or anthropologists but we do know that understanding the original function of stress can shift your perception of how you choose to let stress into your life.
Stress is one of our most primal instincts. It is a modifying response to threatening situations. When we say modifying we mean that when stress enters the body, our behaviour adapts to react appropriately to the situation. Our behaviour is altered by a flood of chemicals and hormones to get us out of danger as quickly as possible.
Except, we’re not in danger all the time anymore.
Compared to the bloodbath that is human history, the majority of us live relatively safe lives. We rarely have to fend off animals far bigger than us and we don’t get sent into the trenches to fight for our Queen. What we’re experiencing in the modern-day, is prolonged exposure to stress in environments that don’t pose any mortal danger: our offices, homes and cities.
(If this made you feel a little existential, we have a blog about snapping out of it and embracing the world we live in)
It goes without saying that there are populations who experience tremendous physical danger and threats in their daily lives, that’s a given. However, the tigers our ancestors were used to encountering now take the form of bosses, high-strung colleagues and late credit card bills.
You see, our environment and society have changed faster than our biology has, meaning that our bodies still react the same way to stress whether the circumstance is a real threat or not.
Stress today
What are some of the external factors that cause stress in the daily life of a modern person? With technology, the economy and increasingly pressurised social lives, it seems that stress is blasting from all angles:
Health concerns
Deadlines (erg)
Family drama
The pressure to succeed and achieve (socially and financially)
Devices that always demand your attention
Financial obligations (can we put this on the list ten times?)
FOMO
Option fatigue
Am I too stressed?
Statistically, probably.
Today, burnout seems to be the end result of being too stressed and although burnout isn’t a medical diagnosis, it can lead to serious bouts of depression and physical health issues. Some signs of burnout may include:
Negative thoughts about others and more importantly, yourself.
You should not rely on this blog as a replacement for professional mental health services, diagnosis or treatment. If you have any concerns about your physical or mental health, you should always consult with a health-care professional.
Finding the balance to beat the burnout
Here’s where we explore how you can find balance in your life by paying attention to how stress exists in your body, mind and finances. Taking control of your stress means facing it head-on and not treating it as the enemy. Stress is always going to be in our bodies – it is a natural response that doesn’t come about because we asked it to. What is going to make the difference, is how we re-wire our thoughts about stress and how we manage it.
Body balance
We know, we know. Even thinking of finding the time to move your body makes you stress out but we’re here to tell you, that’s a mistake. You need to find time to get your blood pumping, even if it seems like you’re giving up precious time that could be used for finishing up loose ends at work or responding to emails. No! Even a small workout will help shed excess adrenaline and cortisol from the body, leaving you in a relaxed but energised state.
Movement is medicine and we couldn’t be more sure of that.
Money balance
Face your finances. You are more likely to be stressed out about the ideas you have about the state of your finances than the actual facts and figures. This is the problem with modern-day stress – we assume the worst without doing the research.
Have a budget, have a savings account and have a backup plan. Most of us know the basics of money from a young age and understanding money is how we make it less scary. Work with compound interest, spend way less than you make and make the effort to use your money for something good and kind.
Mind balance
This is where the magic happens, we believe. Changing how you feel about stress is going to change how stress impacts your life and even your health.
When we feel under stress, we immediately retreat inwards and think of it as a negative situation. Imagine if every time you were stressed, you appreciate what your body was trying to do for you: help you rise to the occasion. Stress was never created to debilitate us and when we see stress as a tool instead of a hindrance, we may find the emotion takes less of a toll on our mental and physical health.
Through the sharing of knowledge and experience, we want to help build communities and individuals become the most optimal version of themselves both physically and mentally.
Your health is your wealth so make lasting changes, one habit at a time.
Swap out the chicken for steak or try using mushrooms for a vegetarian alternative.
INGREDIENTS
2 chicken breasts or any protein of choice
1 Tbsp oil
Jalapeno, chopped (according to taste) OR 1/2
tsp chili powder
1 tsp garlic powder and cumin
1 cup quinoa, or brown rice cooked
1 cup lettuce, chopped
1/2 cup tomatoes, chopped
1/2 cup black beans, rinsed and drained
1/2 avocado
2 Tbsp. salsa
2 Tbsp cheese of choice, grated
Lime wedge for serving
METHOD
Preheat grill or a large frying pan to medium-high. Combine jalapenos, oil, garlic powder and cumin in a small bowl. Oil the grill rack or frying pan. Season chicken with salt. Grill the chicken for 5 mins. Turn, brush with the jalapeno mixture and continue cooking, 3 to 5 mins more or until chicken is cooked through. Transfer to a clean cutting board. Chop into bite-size pieces. Assemble each burrito bowl with ½ cup quinoa, ½ cup chicken, ½ cup lettuce, ¼ tomatoes, ¼ cup beans, ¼ avocado, 1 Tbsp salsa and 1 Tbsp cheese. Serve with a lime wedge.
When I talk to other people about yoga, more often than not I get a response similar to this – ‘I would love to try it but I’m just SO inflexible!’. And while I try my best trying to explain that this truly doesn’t matter, it doesn’t help that every picture we see online or in social media of ‘the modern yogi’ is someone doing the splits, or folding themselves like a pretzel.
There are enough ways we all judge ourselves and compare against others. And yoga isn’t another form of exercise we do to hopefully, one day, feel better about ourselves. Doing the perfect headstand, or a perfect backbend is not the end goal. And even if it was, it wouldn’t guarantee that we love ourselves anymore.
As Judith Lasatar so aptly says – ‘Yoga is not about touching your toes, it is what we learn on the way down’.
But what exactly are we learning when we show up on our mat to practice?
Yoga is an inward journey
Let’s take a step back and remember that the practice of yoga is believed to date back over 5,000 years. It truly is an ancient discipline, that was practiced to cultivate a strong and supple body so that one could be able to sit still in meditation for long periods. Having a strong core, supple spine and open hips was necessary to ensure the body stayed relaxed and comfortable, without being a disturbance or distraction.
The ultimate goal for the Yogi was to be still. To be able to master their mind, achieve inner peace, and ultimately – enlightenment.
Western culture has glorified the physical practice, yet the heart of yoga remains – as a tool to guide us on an inward journey so we can find true harmony within ourselves.
In our fast-paced, distracted modern lives, wouldn’t it be a joy to interact with people who are calm, centered, and present? Who can navigate all changes and challenges from a place of grounding?
Lessons from the mat
Each time you step onto your mat, you show up for yourself. Although yoga is often practiced among a group of people, it is very much an individual practice. The focus is within your four corners of your mat. As you move silently, you are guided to tune into the sensations of your body and to move with intention. Where the body goes, the mind follows, and so by focusing and controlling the physical self, we, in turn, can experience calm and ease in our thinking mind.
Yoga means to ‘yoke or unite’. What are we uniting? Our body and our mind, through a focus on our breath.
Every moment on your mat is a time to tune in and connect. In building strength through movement, we cultivate a stronger sense of self. As we stretch and lengthen our bodies, we also learn to expand our mindfulness and awareness. It is an all-encompassing practice that leads us on a path to our true self.
And while we may not achieve enlightenment like few of those ancient yogis, with a real commitment to our practice, the lessons we learn on our mat impact who we become off our mat, and we begin to show up in our lives with greater compassion, empathy, self-acceptance, and joy!
A journey begins with a single step
If touching your toes is no longer a reason to hold you back, the only next step is to decide to start. I have a range of pre-recorded videos to follow along, for free, in the comfort of your own home. There’s something for everyone including beginner classes, guided meditations, yin, vinyasa, and more.
Whatever you decide, the joy is in the journey. You can start yours today.
Self-love is the concept of loving yourself as you would love others. It is the practice of taking care of your mind and spirit with compassion that benefits your overall mental well being.
Self-love differs from self-care in the sense that self-love is about the internal dialogue and relationship that we have with ourselves. Self-care is nurturing our physical selves. The two often cross paths and we’ll give you a heads up when they do in this blog.
Unless you axed your social media away before everybody watched the Social Dilemma, you’ll have seen the swarms of posts about self-love routines and rituals: the bubble baths, face masks and movie nights. Which rock, don’t get us wrong, but they don’t offer the sustainability that consistent and intentional self-love habits and practices do.
The popularization of self-love isn’t a bad thing – the more people who learn to love themselves, the better – but the definitions and acts of self-love have become a bit superficial and one-size-fits-all-ish. You’ve got to find what makes you feel good, no matter what that looks like. We believe in the habits that make the foundation of who we are, and our self-love practices are essential to how we grow and heal.
If self-love sounds a little corny to you, let’s get into why it’s so important. When you treat yourself badly or even just neglect your basic needs and wants, you are setting yourself up to make poor decisions. Without having a solid foundation of love and respect for yourself, you are more susceptible to toxic relationships, negative self-talk and poor health.
Here’s how you can create a life that is led by the love you give to yourself.
Ritual and Routine
Having self-love routines and rituals plays a huge role in cementing the idea of loving yourself into your daily life. The way you start your day sets the tone for the next 9 hours or so, and that’s why a powerful place to make time for a ritual is as you wake. This ritual may look like prayer, movement, writing or meditation. It may also be in the details of what you don’t do: check your phone, regret the past or get into a state about the future.
These rituals and routines are here to keep your mind clear and your thoughts in the present and consistency comes in handy on the days it feels a little hard to love yourself.
Here’s what we had to say a few weeks ago about mastering meditation and how to develop your emotional awareness and cultivate mental clarity.
Be far kinder to your body
That means fueling your body well and more importantly, speaking to your body well.
Your body is a vessel for everything that is the mind-blowingly fantastic you. The stuff that matters: your heart, your soul, your mind and your character. All a body does is bring these things into the physical world and yet we still find ourselves using such unkind language towards ourselves when we look in the mirror. Being grateful and accepting of your physical body is a worthwhile route to take.
You may even have to fake it for a while and that’s okay because eventually, you’ll believe in what you are telling yourself. Kind things to start saying today could be:
Do you see how you aren’t saying what you will or can do? You need to speak these thoughts as if they are already happening, rewiring your brain to think this way without making a huge effort to do so.
Believe in something
Before you panic, this blog isn’t about to turn into a cult recruitment advertisement.
But seriously, as humans in a material world, becoming detached from the spiritual side of life could be why so many people battle to find love for themselves. Finding solace in spiritual practice can bring an abundance of love into your life. Maybe you’re religious, maybe you choose to believe in the inherent goodness of mankind or just really believe in the power of having a huge dance party.
Having a set of beliefs and values will cement your sense of knowing yourself and ultimately, loving yourself. When we see the divine around us, it’s hard to ignore the divine within us.
Say no – and also say yes
People who love themselves respect their limits and boundaries. This means saying no when you mean no and not feeling guilty about it. When people are battling with their self-love journey, the thought of pleasing somebody else at the expense of violating yourself will seem justifiable and we’re here to tell you, it very rarely is. Say no when you feel that niggling feeling in your sternum because that’s your intuition speaking – you would be wise to listen.
In the same breath, self-love means saying a big old YES to the things you deserve. So many of us reject opportunities and experiences because deep down, we aren’t certain that we deserve them. Knowing that you are a good person at your core and that you deserve the blessings that come your way is inseparable from self-love.
Do the things you’re good at
Remind yourself at least once a week of what you’re good at – and that doesn’t mean doing what you’re paid to do or doing what you think you should be good at. Don’t spend too much time overthinking this activity because the best part? Nobody even has to know.
Take this as a rare opportunity to enjoy your talents for you and not for the pleasure or praise of other people. Sing for yourself, dance for yourself, talk with an elderly person for yourself. Acting on our strengths validates our purpose in this life. It gently reminds us that we are here for a reason and that whilst we are here we need to value, love and nurture ourselves.
Sure, there was a weird “is the world going to end” moment that had libidos soaring through the roof. But, when our bodies are stressed and fatigued, getting turned on may be last on your bodies to-do-list. Here’s what to add to your shopping list to boost your libido when you need it.
At the risk of starting on a dramatic note, we’re talking about two incredibly important things: food and sex. Two massive pillars of humanity surviving and getting this far, obviously. More than being essential to our existence, they appear again as being two huge pillars in how we experience pleasure and expression.
It isn’t surprising then, that the two would have such a great effect on one another.
Eat well to love well
We hate to break it to you – but aphrodisiacs aren’t all oysters and rhino horn. Eating for better sex doesn’t need to look so different from eating for health. A good rule of thumb? If it’s good for your heart and the way that oxygen moves through your body, it’s going to improve the way sex feels for you and your partner.
The foods we’re going to touch on are naturally good for you because of the energy that they provide, the way they let blood move around your body and the hormones they release to get those good feelings going. So what’s on the menu?
Clams and Oysters (B12)
I know we said it wasn’t all about the fancy food, but clams and oysters are a fun delicacy to incorporate into your diet for special occasions. One serving of clams has enough B12 to kickstart your evening and for good reason: B12 deficiency is one of the leading reasons behind erectile dysfunction. Clams are packed with an amino acid called L-arginine. L-arginine, once in the body, converts to nitric oxide which then increases blood flow around the body and to the places where blood flow is needed during sex; your nerve endings, genitalia and erogenous zones.
Fatty Fish (Omega 3)
Incorporating some fatty fish like fresh salmon into your dinner menu or breakfast bagel is going to get your system prepped with all the energy you need to have good, zesty sex. Fish is a great source for the macro-nutrient, Omega 3 which combats fatigue like you wouldn’t believe. Do your body a favour.
The thing about eating for better sex is that you’re going to want to be eating things that really benefit the way that your body functions. Cue: leafy greens. Incorporating iron-rich foods like spinach, broccoli, are going to do wonders for your body because of how magnesium dense the plants are. Magnesium boosts blood flow, helping sex to feel better and last longer.
Asparagus (Histamine)
Enhancing your climax is one of the reasons people turn to asparagus when they want a sex-improving diet. This veggie contains histamine which helps to promote more intense orgasms amidst a whole resume of benefits for health and wellbeing in your everyday life.
Fun fact: in 19th century France, three courses of this phallic vegetable were served to newlyweds to promote a sense of longing for one another. How considerate.
Skip the Valentines Day quick-fix
The day comes with the pressure to perform and before you know it you’ve loaded your cart with sparkling wines you can’t pronounce, lubricants you’re scared to use (what ingredient causes a fire sensation on purpose?) and more milk chocolate than you know what to do with.
There absolutely is a time and place for quick-fix sexy foods. These are foods that feel sensual to eat (you know the ones we mean: juicy fruits and velvety sauces). It’s when you lose yourself in how crazy good that tastes and the happiness hormones do the rest for you: we love those moments and we hope you have plenty of them! What if, though, you could have that fire in your belly beyond the month of February?
Top tip: sugar (in chocolate and alcohol) before sex is only going to make you exhausted before you even begin. Skip the cortisol spikes and wait for the natural endorphins to kick in.
What this should drive home is how sex and food don’t need to be a one-weekend quick fix to getting intimate with your partner. When you look after your body, the rest looks after itself.
If you haven’t already succumbed to the Valentines rush or your purchases have left you wanting, maybe we could interest you in a more sustainable approach to making sure you’re up for it even when you don’t have time to prep the champaign and chocolate. We believe that better habits make for a well-rounded life, and we like to help people get there. Pop onto our socials or click here to read more about what we do and how to get started!
With burnout on the rise and boundaries becoming more blurred by the week, it’s time for a re-evaluation. Sure, hard work has always been something to be admired but at the end of the tired, overthinking mess of a day, what are we really glorifying here, openly speaking?
Technology has flipped the switch on work-life balance, giving colleagues constant access to you and tempting you to be always available. We don’t need physical offices to get our jobs done anymore, so the excuses for not being able to get something done in record time seem to wither. Imagine though, if excuses weren’t necessary and a certain, polite, “no, I don’t have time for that”, would suffice?
Have you ever been in a work environment where you’ve had to do the ‘appropriate leaving time’ walk of shame to your car? Or perhaps you’ve felt a surge of anxiety turning off the active status on your remote digital communication platform long after the sun has gone down. The grind. The hustle. The boss babe (is there a reason “boss” doesn’t work just as well?). We live in a whirlwind of buzzwords that remind us that success means zero downtime, toxic productivity and ultimately, a personal life so overrun by work that health, family and joy start to fall by the wayside.
Without sounding alarmist, something needs to change. Collectively, there needs to be an unpacking of how it came to be acceptable for our mental health to be compromised by what we do for a living.
Boundaries, who needs them?
You. You do. And so does everybody else.
Taking your mental health seriously is the first on the agenda. To a fair few people, mental health still seems like this figment of our imagination and we do wonder sometimes, does it really deserve the attention you need/want to give it?
It absolutely does. You’ll see that when you take your mental health seriously, you’ll know where boundaries fit in and why they are so valuable.
Setting, implementing and upholding your boundaries
Boundaries are established after you’ve done some deep digging on what you will and won’t allow from the people around you. You need them in all spheres of your life to maintain your limits. Boundaries could be letting your mother know she can’t Facetime you at her whim twice a day or that you won’t tolerate possessive behaviour from your partner.
When we speak about work boundaries, in particular, we are speaking about the prepared, quick-defence (but not defensive) systems you have in place for situations that bring on pushing past what you are willing to do for your work.
Firstly, figure it out
You can’t implement what you don’t know and you certainly can’t expect anybody to read your mind about what boundaries you have in place. Know what you value and where your time needs to be spent and where. If you value family and health and pottery, you’ll know that your boundaries need to protect these parts of your life.
Find out where you are being stretched thin and where your work is leaking into valuable time. Pinpoint what elements of your work-life that trigger anxiety or anger and have a solid understanding of what needs to change.
Say what you mean and mean what you say
Once you’ve figured out what your boundaries are, they need to be communicated. This doesn’t mean mumbling to your colleagues about your boss during your lunch break (which was cut short by a meeting that went on for too long). It means respectfully letting your work peers know what a) you’re comfortable with, b) why these boundaries are important and c) what the outcome of broken boundaries will be. Damn.
If workplace dynamics interest you, check out our thoughts on how to bring wellness into the workplace: 5 easy, effective ways to boost productivity & employee happiness
What can work boundaries sound like?
In case you need some inspiration on how to say what you need to say (with conviction) here’s how stating your boundaries may sound:
“Yes, I also think being on top of work emails is important and they will always be answered by 10 am Monday. On the weekends, however, I prioritise unplugging and won’t be available.”
“This is not something I want to talk about at work, if we could avoid bringing it up again I would appreciate it.”
“I have a hard stop on meetings that run over 5:30 on Wednesdays and Fridays, so if we could start with the essentials that would be great.”
Emotional responses vs steadfast explanations
Saying those sentences out loud might sound abrupt at first if you are somebody who has been conditioned to people please or in the case of many minorities in the workplace, pressured to be polite and amiable. Boundaries are not rude or catty or self-righteous, they are healthy and logical limits to protect yourself. Abruptness is not a bad thing, it just means that we have taken time to evaluate and cement where our values and comfort zones are – so we don’t need to waste 1000 words explaining ourselves. When we become emotional stating our boundaries we risk being defensive or overexplaining something that needs little explanation.
Somebody is going to push a boundary, expect that to happen. When it does, you will have unpacked and prepared for how to deal with that situation and you’re going to feel better for it. Mastering your emotional awareness and sense of clarity is something you can build into your daily routine (we unpack that in our blog here).
Boundaries are Self-Care
We’re going to be talking a lot about self-love for the next few weeks and best believe mental health is high up on the agenda.
This February, let’s dig a little deeper than sugar and synthetic teddies for Valentines Day. Let’s look into real self-love that lets you think well and work well. For each time you say “no” to something that doesn’t align with your values, you learn to trust yourself a little more. Living your life in line with what makes you happy and letting go of expectations and worries about the behaviour of people is one heck of a way to love yourself. Join in on the love and come check out our Instagram page to keep up to date with our conversations about life, love, wellness and food (heck yes).
